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This Web Site is Always Under Construction
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Rick Joins Soup Line Nolie Forced To Support the Lazy Bum After toiling for nearly seven years at his employer, Rick recently elected to join the legions who spend their days watching Oprah and eating Bon Bons. "It just wasn't tooting my horn any longer," Rick shrugged, while munching the final chip from a bag of Doritos. "I'd come, seen and conquered. The path to the pinnacle of success had become as familiar as an old episode from Gilligan's Island. Unfortunately, Ginger didn't have the old appeal anymore."
But the luster from days of sleeping in until two p.m. and chain-smoking unfiltered cigarettes has begun to dim. "Well, it's not like I can permanently retire," Rick lamented. "Besides, Nolie forces me to clean the house and do the laundry. Can you believe that s__t?" So, after a short hiatus of four work-free months, Rick dove into the job search mode like an Acapulco cliff diver. His days were soon stuffed with resume drafting, cover letter design, and inquiries to potential employers. Disappointment soon followed. Despite numerous appeals and well-orchestrated personal marketing campaigns, Rick discovered the perils of the current job market. "I've applied for CEO positions at General Electric, Intel, and AOL Time Warner. And not one freakin' response. Not one!" an incensed Rick raged. "I even lowered my standards and told that piece of crap MCI, I'd take over the helm. But, no comprende mister!"
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Bijou Refers to Nolie as "The Lady" A Distraught Nolie wails, "But I'm her Mommy!" Despite months of self-denial, Nolie is slowly accepting that Bijou views her as nothing more than the resident "lady" occupying her house. "But it's not fair," Nolie moaned. "I feed her, sleep with her, and coo to her like a baby. I've worked damn hard to deserve the title of 'Mommy'.
Most folks visiting the Call
household have long noticed that Bijou has no special allegiance to any
particular female. "She pretty much takes a liking to any woman that walks
through our door," Rick chuckled as Bijou twirled around the legs of one
of Nolie's recently visiting friends.
But, there are signals in the air that Nolie has not given up on her quest to be called "Mommy" by the fourteen-pound pug. "Rick can no longer refer to me by my given name in the presence of the dog," Nolie proclaimed. "And the prohibition extends to any of his previous terms of affection for me such as 'Snuggy Wuggums', ' Cotton Candy Lips' or 'Gummy Bear'. From now on, I'm only to be called 'Mommy'."
Rick, however, is on the verge of putting his foot down, an attempt to stifle what he sees as an outrageous campaign. "I just think it's a bit much when a grown woman walks around the house with a sign around her neck which reads "Mommy". |
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